All my actions are random, and I can’t truly know I am giving a perfected giving, except what I am giving is perfectly fine. As and until I am sure my giving is perfected, I have to content that the result that I am experiencing is random too. The world is my perfect reflection, showing me what I am.
What is a perfected giving? A giving that is unreasonable. All my giving is with a reason. I give because I think you need it. I give because there something I am benefiting from. I give because I am told. I don’t really, truly give, except give-because. My giving is conditional. Can I give unconditionally? I don’t really know. What I really know is my giving is giving-because. If I recognize my giving is conditional, I am sure there is also such a thing as unconditional giving, just that I am not there as yet. If I am not able to recognize my conditional giving is conditional and think I am giving unconditionally, there is no possibility for me to experience what true unconditional giving is all about.
Irrelevant whether I give or not, I am continuously giving. I am giving my views, giving my ideas, giving my best, giving all the time, even though I am not giving materially. But in truth I can’t give materially unless it belongs to me. I can only give something that is in my possession. “My possession” is what I think it is – not what it is. I don’t owned anything unless I believe I owned it. Belief is just an idea and what I truly owned is just that – it has not gone beyond belief. “My material” is just a fabrication, a contortion of the mind. I can’t give away “my” material as I don’t own them in the first place. I can’t, even if I wish. If I think I can, I am simply delusional.
Ideas never left its source – Yeshua
Thus, whenever I give materially, I am, in truth, giving up my possession – my possessiveness that is occuring in the mind – not what is there physically. The physical act is simply a symbolic act of my releasing to what I am holding on to.
Each time I lie, consciously or unconsciously, I am already ignoring the Truth that is here for me. How then do I expect to see the Truth even though the Truth is right in front of me? There is nothing blocking the Truth – not that I am special than you or you are than me that we are uniquely chosen to be given the Truth. Truth can’t be given. Truth is not a sole proprietor belonging to me or you, or to anyone else for that matter. Truth is. Truth is here, awaiting my arrival, as and when I start to do my housekeeping of what I am ignoring, which I may not even be aware I am already ignoring. That’s the beauty of delusion.
Whose delusion? My own ignorance. Not seeing things as they truly are.
And back to giving – nothing ever left me – what churns out from me each moment are only ideas. Giving too is also an act of an idea. Thus the more I “give” the more I have the idea that I am receiving, for each idea of giving is always accompanied by the idea of receiving – everything comes in pair, due to its duality nature – it can never be otherwise. And thus each receiving is also an act of giving.